Happy New Year

Hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Years.

It's 20 below zero here today. The cold always sets in after a bad Winter storm.

2018 was a horrible year for me and 2019 isn't starting any better, but I am looking forward to a better year in 2019. That mostly has to do with my bad health, but other things added to my bad year last year. The last couple of years haven't been so good and Trump as president did not help. The last five years have not been the best years of my life, again mainly because of bad health.

I was a pretty bad drinker and druggie in my early days, but I gave that all up more than 30 years ago. My health problems are directly related to genetics and passed onto me from my parents and ancestors. My younger brother died in 2018 from similar health problems, that seemed to hit him worse than me. He was only 62.

My bad health forced me to retire early, in 2018, which is one reason I started this blog. I am a total tech idiot and I thought starting a blog would help me understand computers better. I don't and never have been a member of Facebook, or any other social network. I did not own a computer until I was 55 and I have never owned a cell phone. I am definitely old school.

Those of you who read this blog (thank you) know that I love all kinds of music. I also love all kinds of art and will post more about art in the future. Posting may be sporadic depending on my health, but sitting and typing seems to be something I can do.

I am an atheist, although I post many things with religious overtones and religious motivations. I understand that some of the best art and music in the world was motivated by religious conviction and is religious in nature. I don't have to be a believer to appreciate the work of those who are believers and are motivated to create by their religious beliefs. Michelangelo is probably my favorite artist.

I am more liberal than the current Democratic party, which is why I have much criticism for the Democrats; but conservatism in government is in opposition to government for and by the people. There has always been financial waste in our government system. I prefer that excess go to programs for the people rather than corporations.

In 2018 my doctor said I could do nothing and I would be in hospice in three months and dead in six months. I have never been a depressive, or suicidal, so there was only one option. I am not available for transplants because of my bad health. I now live with major surgeries and tubes sticking out of my body, which is supposed to extend my life and actually make me feel better in the long run. Things will get worse before they get better. I'm still waiting for the feel better period.

I had both money and good health for the majority of my life, which was better than many and life has been fun and good. 

I have regrets and I don't believe people who say they have no regrets throughout their lives. Can anyone's life be that perfect?

One regret is the fucked up situation this country is in which I can't do much about, except vote. It's sad to know we leave future Americans so much worse off than the country was handed to us. But I was always just a cog in a wheel, never a big mover, or shaker.

For me, New Years has always been a time of evaluating my life and situation, then making changes to make life better. My ability to make changes for the better are limited now by my health and poor financial situation. Neither of which I have the ability to change for the better anymore. I used to have money and it's to long a story to explain why I no longer have money. I remember being poor when I was young, but it's harder to be poor when I'm older, especially in bad health. So you got to read all this boring stuff about me as I write out the evaluation of my situation.